<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Re-write the Music by Narya (Narya_Flame), Rhapsody</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26250544">Re-write the Music</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Narya_Flame/pseuds/Narya'>Narya (Narya_Flame)</a>, <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rhapsody/pseuds/Rhapsody'>Rhapsody</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe, American Gods Inspired, F/F, Modern Era</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 02:55:03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,552</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26250544</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Narya_Flame/pseuds/Narya, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rhapsody/pseuds/Rhapsody</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Meássë, who has finally been brought back in the fold is being assigned to a task that feels like an easy job to her. But as feelings for her charge develop, will she be able to stick to her course and bring it to a satisfactory end?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Meássë/Aredhel</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Tolkien Reverse Summer Bang 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Meeting</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Narya_Flame/gifts">Narya (Narya_Flame)</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Written for Narya, whose amazing moodboard (see also here at <a href="https://www.deviantart.com/naryaflame/art/Tasting-Sunlight-853600139">Deviant art</a>) inspired me and hoped for a story with the following: I'd envisaged this as a modern AU where Aredhel and Meássë meet on a camping trip, learn archery, and... what? Fall in love? Or something more complicated than that? (Major bonus points if modern!Meássë is related to or descended from some kind of deity and has similar powers to those she might have displayed in canon.)</p><p>Special thanks to my beta knight in shining armour: Ignoble Bard!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <em>Twuuumphhhffff</em>
</p><p>Where she had just enjoyed the peaceful view outside her tent, she now suddenly saw dark green as the sturdy cloth fell snug around her. The deafening bird call was nearly muted and as she tried to stretch her hand, she felt how the heavy fabric limited her in every movement. Inhaling deeply, Aredhel reminded herself to stay calm.</p><p>She had done this before, albeit many <em>yeni</em> ago when her cousins ran away all giggling after they collapsed the tents of the others by unplugging the steel pins. It had become a sport between them during the camping nights in grandfather’s backyard. She now was a woman of full stature, and as time pressed heavily on her she was not that lithe girl anymore.</p><p>Now, how to get out of this was another thing. Aredhel tried to remember the shape of the tents and which lines could have been pulled… or were they? She had been the first to arrive to this camp event, getting the first pick of the campsites. Oh, sweet Valar, her son would have laughed so hard if he knew what situation she had landed herself in.</p><p>They had parted this morning, Maeglin so eager to explore the streets of Amsterdam, whereas she longed for the woods and the sounds of nature. On paper it had looked so nice: this joint vacation across the pond, but she soon found the country a stifling beehive. Maeglin, on the other hand, seemed to thrive with all that this country had to offer. He was still more of a city boy after all. She giggled as she tried to free herself. Her city boy having to hear about his dear mother’s complaining. Now where was that tent opening…</p><p>‘Let me help you.’ A warm voice – almost husky – stopped her for a moment. Before she could reply, an arm thrust into the tent and she stared at a muscular underarm, marked by tribal markings linked with eight-pointed stars and snakes. As the arm shifted, it almost seemed as if they moved. Fascinated by the detail, she suddenly blinked as light and air streamed in. ‘I mean no harm, ’Aredhel heard, and as she looked up she met two grey eyes touched with mirth.</p><p>‘No.’ She finally breathed and took in the sight of the tall woman who knelt in front of her. She locked gazes with the muscular woman who in her own right could be called fair. Had she met her before? The woman did not waste time and firmly clasped her hand to offer support. A firm tug followed, and it happened so fast that she crashed into her rescuer’s chest. The unknown woman wore grey khakis and the blue shirt she had seen the camp staff wearing when she arrived here. Her unruly copper hair tried to escape, but it was restrained in a tight braid with little curly hairs along the length that gave her a wild air.</p><p>‘No?’ the woman replied.</p><p>It did not happen to Aredhel often that she had to crane her neck to look up at another woman. There was something about being so near, so familiar, Aredhel thought. From what world had this woman come that made her feel safe and secure, yet it also made her very self-aware of the position she found herself in.</p><p>‘I apologise. You happened to choose a tent that we had not yet inspected after volunteers had erected it. Some of them are too hasty and do not secure the lines well enough.’</p><p>‘Oh please, no apologies are needed,’ Aredhel quickly replied and tried to compose herself. ‘I am an experienced camper myself and should have inspected it before entering.’ Where do I know her from, she wondered.</p><p>With a quick efficiency that she had only witnessed a few times, she watched how the fiery lady erected the tent, stomping the tent pegs so fiercely into the ground that it made the earth tremble. Suddenly their eyes locked and with a nod she said, ‘I do know you Aredhel Ar Feiniel.’</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Hunting</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was already late in the afternoon when Aredhel woke up from her nap. As she laid there, she allowed herself to let the bird song wash over her. How she missed this! A few woodpeckers hammered trees, sometimes interrupted by a <em>woo</em> from a little owl that silenced tits, thrushes, and warblers for a moment.</p><p>To hunt or to be hunted, Aredhel mused. How long had it been since she had been on a hunt? She simply could not recall. As she sat up, she quickly scanned her tent for a coat. Surely it was summer, but if there was one thing she quickly had learned during her first days here it was that the weather was very fickle. There it was! Quickly she scrambled to her feet, fetched the coat, and opened the tent flaps. The first thing she smelled was the smell of the damp forest. Douglas fir trees towered over her once she stepped outside. Her feet sank in slightly, like a soft tapestry that smelled of spores, pinecones, and needles. She could sense it had rained, perhaps some hours ago. The humidity that would meet her in open spaces slowly tried to trickle into the dense forest where her tent had been set up.</p><p>The common open space would be northeast from here she remembered. When she picked her tent, she could choose from a wide range of options and she had surprised the volunteer that she had opted for a place deeper in the forest, away from the others. More privacy. The teen had mumbled and quickly had left her alone as she tried to settle in. It was shortly after that her tent had collapsed around her and the robust, red-haired woman had come to her rescue.</p><p>Aredhel loved her chosen spot. Inhaling deeply, she pushed aside all thoughts regarding the tall lady. She had meant well, yet Aredhel wondered how she could have claimed that she knew her? Here in this foreign land. It simply could not be possible. Or could it?</p><p>Annoyed by herself, she pulled on her coat and briskly started to walk northeast because, for all the luxury, she had no food or drink. For that she had to meet the other people. Being  not too far off, and after five minutes or so – people of this country always seemed so obsessed with time – she stepped into the clearing where the full-blown humidity hit her in full. Aredhel saw that she was not the only one who felt hungry. A handful of people hovered around the barbecues from which an enticing smell came. Others sat at picnic tables, cutting bread and preparing a salad. Staff chatted amiably with her fellow campers, servicing them with paper napkins and plastic plates.</p><p>‘<em>Mevrouw</em>?’ A friendly woman walked up to her, another young staff member with pepper coloured hair and a short cut that emanated a perky vibe. ‘Ma’am, may I ask what you need?’ The young woman had quickly corrected herself, even though Aredhel had quickly learned what mevrouw meant. She was, after all a Finwëan with their natural ear for languages.</p><p>‘Something to eat and drink would be nice, thank you,’ she politely replied, and was kindly escorted to one of the picnic tables where a young couple sipped a pink coloured wine. Both smiled at her as she sat down, but soon they continued in their own language. This was simply perfect.</p><p>Aredhel smiled as the young lady appeared with a plastic cup and a bottle. ‘Hamburgers and chicken and pork skewers are grilled by our staff,’ the young lady explained while she pointed in a westerly direction. ‘If you wish a vegetarian dish, you only need to say so. Soon the side dishes will be ready. And if you like, later this evening we will gather around a campfire where there will be an opportunity to bake bread or roast marsh mallows sticks. We also invited a singer-songwriter for…’ Aredhel’s thoughts drifted off while the evening programme was explained to her. She could not restrain herself from scaning all campsite’s staff to see if She would be here as well.</p><p>In time dusk had already settled and those few stars she could discover through the canopy shone dimly. Light pollution they called it, even here in the forests it was present. The music around the campfire had petered out long ago, and there were few fellow campers left as the fires slowly burned out. Earlier on she had placed her bets on who would follow whom to their tents. Love was in the air and the warmth made lust buzzle up. Except for her, of course. Those days were closed off long ago when it had become clear that her husband had not heeded the call. None could say where his spirit was now, and by the laws she was still bound to him. That much was clear upon her rebirth: no spouse, yet she was needed still. She was allowed to return.</p><p>‘Well,’ she sighed and sauntered to her campsite, here and there she heard the wildlife rustling through the bushes. When an owl silently hopped on a branch overhead, Aredhel studied the raptor. She knew <em>S</em><em>he</em> was near when something bright flashed by. It was that her eyes that caught it because no sound was heard. Her heart skipped a beat and her adrenaline spiked. Her hand moved to the absent quiver as a pure instinct but she only met the air instead. Poised to run, she calmed herself and breathed deeply.</p><p>
  <em>Huntress…</em>
</p><p>She was nature’s child after all.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Reacquainting</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Some days later, after lazily lounging and observing the Edain around her in the humidity, Aredhel had given up on seeing the camp’s elder she had met a few days before. The staff remained young, happily catering to all those who required it. When she asked about hunting, she was told they were not licenced for it and that none asked for this activity. If she cared for horse-riding instead? She was intrigued by the idea, but soon discovered that she could sign up only for a guided ride and that a free gallop through the woods was not on the agenda.</p><p>The initial feeling of back to nature that the brochure had promised was not there. Oh, the luxury was there, the quiet and pleasant company during the evenings was well provided for, yet it made her feel restless. Aredhel hoped that her city boy fared better. She was bored and marking the days when she and her son could continue their tour of Europe.</p><p>With a sigh she stretched her legs as she sat up in her tent, hoping that the heat would break soon. If she were not mistaken, dinner would be served presently and this time she would not join the commonly attended meal but eat here in the evening quiet. Maeglin had cheerily texted her and she had laughed so hard when he shared his photos with her. Amsterdam suited him perfectly and he even considered moving there. She would not even consider it and missed her homeland even more. None there would ask her to show paperwork to begin with, should she want to go hunting. Absentmindedly she swiped on her phone when suddenly she perceived movement from the corner of her eye. Out of curiosity, she put down the phone and wrapped her arms around her knees. What was this intriguing thing that seemed to follow her? I have all the time, she thought, no rush… but come to me.</p><p>And again, nothing happened while she waited. Was it truly a figment of her imagination? Did she purely want to believe in something magical? Argh! Now she wanted to pull something from the ground! ‘Calm yourself, you are a child no more! Chin up!’</p><p>‘Perhaps not, but still very desirable.’</p><p>Aredhel’s eyes shot up and she locked gazes with her. The moment lasted long to her reckoning, yet she could not find the words to express herself. What was this feeling? Elated, yet a bit irked and enticed?</p><p>‘Want to go hunting?’</p><p>Her smile was dazzling, and it seemed that the air around her burned, and yet not. Still it felt otherworldly to her. Aredhel allowed herself to take in the beauty in front of her. So tall, and fragile. Still she emanated a hidden strength. With her copper hair unbound this time her grey eyes and pale skin seemed to glow. Something inside urged Aredhel to touch her, to study the markings upon her arms.</p><p>‘Hunting?’ she inquired, shaking off her wandering thoughts and scrambling to her feet. She was not fully free to entertain these thoughts!</p><p>‘Or finding that answer to be truly freed again?’ The words hung between them; tension unspoken mounted, causing Aredhel to waver. Who was she?</p><p>‘I have known you since you, as a child, came to Oromë’s halls with your nephew. Two impatient and eager children. Some of my peers called you two quite a handful.’</p><p>‘These days are long behind us.’ Aredhel wracked her brains and could not recall her as one of Oromë’s people, and yet something nagged at her. Not all seemed it to be.</p><p>‘You might remember me by the name of <em>Rávë</em> or<em>Ravenni, </em>but well given the place we are now without a spear.’ Rávë winked. ‘Before you know it, the authorities will rain down on you.’</p><p>‘Oh! But what makes you… why are you here?’ Aredhel stuttered, suddenly feeling like that small girl again. Even then she had felt drawn to Oromë and his people. Then she was firmly reminded that they were above her station. Quickly she stole a glance over Rávë’s shoulder as if her cousin could re-appear any second. Was he behind all of this, to tease her like in the days of old?</p><p>‘He is not here. Mandos has deemed him unready. I think otherwise, there is no use to keep a spirit that long confined to the halls. They might think to forment further rebellion against their precious law. As if we only then come closer to Arda healed. And…’ Rávë paused, ‘by denying you the justice you deserve. You shall never come unto your own rights.’</p><p>‘And you are here too…?’</p><p>‘I have my own reasons to seek you out. I have instructions, surely. Yet what will happen once my assigned task is done… I have my own hopes and desires, Noble Lady,’ she added with a wan smile.</p><p>‘Tasks, instructions?’ Aredhel huffed, ‘Have I not done enough for them? Is it never enough to be forgiven? I did ask then if I would be free of him since his spirit was not in the halls. And why would he be? I learnt that mercy was not given to him ultimately. Yet, by their … laws I am still bound to him.’</p><p>‘Well,’ Rávë continued with an ironic smile, ‘they have heard your request for Justice. And just like with your grandfather they called you impatient, not relying on hope…’</p><p>‘I am impatient. Me?’ Aredhel bristled ‘Was it too much to ask? How can I help it that he refused the summons and is still bodiless “somewhere”?’ What was it that made the tension build between them? Aredhel wondered what angered her so. What had happened with her calm demeanour? What was it that made her fling these words at this woman’s feet, the desire to be held? She had always prided herself on being independent, keeping her calm in the direst situations.</p><p>‘Well they are not exactly known for their quick deliberations and many of my kind were not all too eager to discuss divorce with the dark elf,’ Rávë explained as she fumbled with a small dagger. And as she threw it, it seemed as if the markings on her arm moved with it. Aredhel shook her head firmly, enough of these mind mathoms. ‘So basically, you have been drafted to arrange the paperwork with him? How do you plan to find him?’</p><p>‘For that I have need of you since your fear can perceive his.’</p><p>Aredhel wanted to scream, was she never done with him? She so desperately wanted to hurl this again in front of Rávë’s feet, yet she also knew that if they did succeed, true freedom was hers again. ‘How do you imagine going on this hunt, here in these small woods and in this crowded country?’</p><p>‘Leave that up to me. I am not as bound to the earth as you might be.’ Rávë offered her hand and for a moment Aredhel studied it, fighting the urge to skim the skin slowly upwards with her fingertips.  She managed, just barely, to contain the urge and realised that too many questions were still left unanswered. And above all of that, she was a full-grown adult.</p><p>‘All in time,’ Rávë offered her hand and once their fingers touched, Aredhel felt how she was swept up in a dazzling wind. All she felt was a steady grip and a warmth around her that made her relinquish her faith in full trust.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Relinquising</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>She had been here before, be it long ago when she stepped into this dimension. Meássë knew that transporting Aredhel here was needed to find this stubborn elf. In the present world his soul would remain hidden from sight. By making this shift to the shadows, the illusion of present day was stripped bare, leaving the souls to perceive one another. This was the way Melkor had taught them to find the hopeless souls and trick them into bondage.</p><p> Aredhel was not far from her, splendid in her form. It did not surprise her that she unknowingly had clothed her in silver rainment and as the air streamed around them her dark hair and skin had a coppery shine. Her heart skipped a few beats as her companion slowly turned around while she took in her surroundings. Meássë could make out many forms, ready to be reaped for Melkor’s cause. She could sense the desperation of the bodiless creatures. With a firm set of eyes, the noble lady merely nodded to her and she appeared to be as ready to find him as as she was. Yet Meássë realised that both had vastly different reasons. Quite selfishly Meássë simply could have returned to her peers, reporting that the deed was done and that he had given consent. The whole set of laws about marriage felt so stifling to her and, used to her own freedom, Meássë had not seen before what it truly had done to this free spirit.</p><p>When she freed her at first from the fabric in the woods, Meássë’s heart had stirred. The aloofness that was mirrored in the elf’s eyes was accepted as a challenge. It was a pure invitation to breathe life and adventure in her again. Except that she was not hers. Could she ever be hers? Deep inside Méassë had realised at that moment that she wanted to be worshipped and worship her at the same time. Now, as she beheld Aredhel, she could only imagine how her hands would comb through those dark curls, fingers steadily tracing her skin, until she could cup her neck. Only then would she bend in to kiss those full lips and… Still such longings were strictly denied to her kind. But did she always stay close unto the fold? Had she not done enough penance for that which came so easily to her? Throughout the years and many appearances merely to survive, she had fought many battles just for the sake of love.</p><p>Having clothed herself with the names of Ishtar, Electra, Clytemnestra and even as Medea she had brought terrible consequences on those who they perceived as having wronged them. And that was also why she had accepted this case and it fascinated her at first.  Had she not once to the famed playwright whispered the following line: “Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, nor hell a fury like a woman scorned.”?</p><p>Yet Aredhel had remained loyal to him, even until her own death she had asked mercy for what he had done. Scorned? No. Impatient? Hardly. Had she in her turn not secretly longed for the pursuit of revenge for her? To dispense justice and in her own accordance maintain some measure of order in this world?</p><p>To her, love and war were both forces with the same potential, to create that delightful chaos and confusion. And as a deity associated with them, it fed her and had made her useful to be able to restore order as well as to disrupt it. The latter she was not forgiven for. Who was she to aspire to be the same as Mandos? Yet he did not seem to understand that love could survive death. Such a shortcoming of their train of thought. Meássë simply knew better. True love could be a salvation from all the hurt. It should have protected Aredhel if he had chosen to return to Mandos Halls. It angered Meássë that he had not done so.</p><p>Love, in its purest form, never dies — but in this rare case where it might momentarily expire, it was best to mourn appropriately. That she believed and it appeared to her, that the moment Aredhel had claimed justice, she had mourned long enough for him. He had refused the calling; she had waited long enough to be freed from their bond.</p><p>This was all true, otherwise she had not come with her to set herself free. For a moment Méassë longed for Aredhel not to be one of the firstborn, but to be that warrior spirit that could help others to stand up for their rights and set firm personal boundaries. If only she could convince her to stand beside her, if only…. Ah how mighty she stood there!</p><p>‘Now how do we find him?’ Aredhel suddenly spoke, her kin’s famed impatience shining through. Méassë suddenly was at loss for words. Human souls usually were quite straight forward. But those of the Eldar… I must improvise now, she reminded herself. If the fear were connected, she could connect to it.</p><p>‘Remember how he first appeared to you,’ Meássë started, ‘then lure him with the first words you exchanged.’</p><p>‘Our first words? Really?’ Aredhel replied and was unable to hide her annoyance. ‘He had woven a spell around me, and besides feeling utterly lost you expect me to remember our first words?’</p><p>Meássë smiled uneasily when Aredhel continued. ‘It was only much later when I realised that he had ensorcelled me, misled me. The fool I was to even come to love him.’</p><p>Abruptly she turned around, directing her anger at a fickling apparition in the distance. Meássë readied her spear, about to step out and aim for it. How mighty she felt just to pin him, punish him for what he had done to her.</p><p>‘It is not for us to dispense Justice.’ Aredhel quietly spoke, her eyes softening suddenly and Meássë rebelled inwardly. This was her right! Of all moments!  She wanted to yell, to right the hurt done to this woman… or was there more to it?</p><p>‘Speak my late husband. For I have asked to be released from what once was. What once was whole and good, but you have forsaken in my brother’s court.’ Firmly she stood there, defiant even while the dark shape shifted into a form. Aredhel stepped forward and thusly blocked all view. Words were exchanged and Meássë tried to remain calm while she heard how he placed claim on her and their son again. As if she was merely his possession!</p><p>How could she remain so composed, and yet also above the situation? But then she spoke firmly to him.</p><p>‘Your claim upon me has withered with every day I waited for you in those halls. For our son I kept on the appearance of love. Have you ever truly loved me?’</p><p> </p><p>Eöl remained silent before he at last answered, ‘I loved the light you brought and could yet not endure it. I sought for you to become the intermediate, the twilight.’</p><p>‘Thusly I have given you, I did diminish for you. I brought forth precious life. In your return you could not make a sacrifice for me?’ Aredhel demanded. ‘Pray tell me, why have I been so loyal to you that you not even deign to return?’</p><p>Meássë could barely keep herself in check and wondered what this prideful elf would do. At length he answered. ‘I cannot answer the call. It is not my place to return to.’</p><p>‘Will you then consent never to return and allow her to claim a new love. That is if you still can find that love for her. To release her?’ Meássë suddenly interrupted, inwardly chiding herself for her impatience. Yet she needed to know before she resolved to bring destruction upon him. That, she realised, Aredhel did not deserve.</p><p>The creature turned towards her, strengthening to his full form, and then formally answered, ‘If the Valar need it to be said... Aye I free you. My longing for the dark is stronger than to humble myself to them. If you are here to record that. Alas, I perceive something else drives you. You have my consent for this also. My sense of honour is still here Ïrisse. Be free.’</p><p>Meássë saw how Aredhel’s posture grew taut as she kept her gaze upon him. Slowly he drifted away from them both. Meássë wondered if Aredhel still could perceive him. A deep sigh finally escaped her, the release was there and caused Aredhel to stumble. In a reflex, Meássë stepped to her to catch her. Their arms briefly entangled, but the moment was over too soon once the elf’s hand touched her spear.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Finding</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>With a flash both fell to the soft forest floor in a tumble of limbs. Oh, to be so close! Meássë wanted to claim her victory and stole a quick kiss.</p>
<p>Never would she let go, victory was hers! Instead of the intimate response she had expected, however, Aredhel pushed her away. Was she confused as she scrambled away from her? Ashamed for this feeling so true?</p>
<p>Shaking her head, her charge wiped away some tears and her desire tamed once she looked at her. Meássë did not see regret, but grief in its purest form? Had she then not mourned in full what once had been.</p>
<p>‘Aredhel,‘ Meássë started, ‘I will not deny it.”</p>
<p>‘Please do not,’ Aredhel whispered as she quickly tipped her lips, ‘it is what this is.’</p>
<p>‘You know I want you; I fear that. It's not a secret I try to hide,’ she started to explain.</p>
<p>‘I know you want me,’ Aredhel offered a small smile and yet stopped her from coming close. ‘I cannot stall this; our hands are no longer tied. Yet,’ she paused and offered a remorseful look, ‘this, this is not meant to be. My fate is not with you, I’m afraid.’</p>
<p>‘Ah, no, you cannot claim it is not in the cards that have been dealt to us. I cannot imagine that fate ultimately will pull you away and out of reach from me. Can you not feel it?’ Meássë needed her touch and firmly grabbed her hand to place it on her chest. ‘Everything tells me that you’re here in my heart. None can stop me if I decide that it is you who is my destiny.’</p>
<p>‘Nay, it is not that.’ Aredhel wavered. ‘A part of me wants to run to you, be with you. But the conflict is inside me. For so long I have been bound to him. If they can restrain me for so long… who are they to trust your word upon it. That it will be different from before? They still might keep the door closed to us, deeming that we are not meant to be.’</p>
<p>‘Nay, let me finish,’ Aredhel pleaded the moment Meássë wanted to speak. It was such a gentle movement, yet their hands found each other. As both interlinked hands, the two of them took their time to enjoy the closeness. Meássë perceived the shifting of the sun as the sunrays deepened in their colour. Had so many hours passed? Aredhel’s beauty was enhanced once those sunrays fell upon her dark raven locks. She should be hers, at her side!</p>
<p>‘I know you must be wondering why. As I touch you, I perceive you. I can feel you; we are able to be. You and me, together here in this forest. But once we leave this place, I fear we both wake up, and reality will show that it was hopeless after all.’ Sadness had crept into her voice,  the realisation what should come to pass made her shoulders sag in defeat.</p>
<p>‘I wish…’ Meássë started, unwilling to let go of this fleeting, but oh so perfect moment. Anger started to mount within her. Defiantly she continued ‘So, tell me. Who can stop me if I decide that you're my destiny?’</p>
<p>‘It is written in the stars, has not Varda once…’ Aredhel’s voice grew tight. ‘No one can rewrite the music thusly. Even you have once been corrected or so I was told. How can you say you will be mine? Have I not been spellbound long enough? I hesitate now, being just free from my marriage. Yet who is to say that everything will keep us apart. What if I am not the one you were meant to find?’ What will I deny myself when I can scarcely enjoy this freedom? ‘</p>
<p>‘It's not up to you to doubt, but to trust,’ Meássë replied hoping to convince her.</p>
<p>‘I fear that it is not up to me. The pressure I will feel when everyone tells us what we can be. <br/>Tell me? How can we rewrite the music? With what power?’ Aredhel shook her head and tried to break away.</p>
<p>Meássë felt unwilling to let go and pleaded, ‘Say that the world can be ours, tonight. This night. Believe me that all I want is to fly with you. Nay, all I do desire is to fall with you. I beg of you, just give me all of you!’</p>
<p>‘I…’ Aredhel lifted their hands and placed a kiss on it. ‘It feels so impossible. Is it impossible? This waking dream of desire. Why have I been forced through this?’</p>
<p>‘I wish I could convince you. I do believe that you are the one I was meant to find... To stand beside me, to aid me. Yet, I also feel strongly that it is up to you and it is up to me. Has everything so far not shown us that no one can say what we get to be? It was you who got his consent. It was you alone who regained your destiny.‘ More than before Meássë felt that she should press on, it was now or never. The latter she feared. ‘And why don't we rewrite the music? I have done it before. Changing this mad world to be ours, do we not deserve it?’</p>
<p>‘Trust me, promise that you trust me on this,’ Aredhel replied and freed her hand. Moments passed as she thought deeply and then swallowed. Meeting her eyes directly she sighed as she touched the Maiar’s cheek briefly. Mesmerised, Meássë nodded and gasped once she felt Aredhel’s lips following her fingers.</p>
<p>‘You know I want you,’ Aredhel breathed against her skin. ‘Trust me, it’s not a secret I try to hide. Yet I also know that I cannot have you. I need to be full on my own again. I fear that otherwise we are bound to break, and I feel that my hands are tied. This is a maddening conflict!’</p>
<p>‘He is full grown, independent. His own man.’ Meássë felt unwilling to break her spell.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘It is not him. I need to be me. I owe it to myself, especially after all that has passed. I feel so strongly that I cannot commit myself again. I feel that I first must rediscover myself. I have always thought of myself as fearless, unbound.’ Aredhel continued, ‘You most of all should understand that. In time… Do give it time I shall taste the sunlight that only you can bring to me. That I promise.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Then that is what I will claim,’ Meássë answered at length, knowing that to truly honour her, she had to set her free. ‘And I will pass on his consent to the Valar.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Thank you,’ Aredhel simply replied and surprised her with her sudden move. ‘You spoke of letting me taste the sunlight. Yet the sun has set, and the evening is upon us.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Meássë’s heart suddenly lurched.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘I can tell you that the twilight also has its pleasures. May I show it to you ere the dawn will emerge?’ Aredhel boldly offered.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Not bound yet promised pleasure ahead! Meássë grabbed Aredhel’s hand and drew her towards the green tent that mere days ago had trapped her. ‘Then show it to me with only our eyes set upon each other.’</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘And nimble hands.’ Aredhel promised.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘Very nimble hands it is. I will gladly accept your sacrifice.’</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>On names. First thank you Silver Trails for your <a href="http://www.silmarillionwritersguild.org/reference/characterofthemonth/makar-measse.php">bio on Makar and Meássë</a>. In her youth, Aredhel was close to Celegorm who at his turn was quite often at Oromë's halls. If Aredhel ever has met Meássë most likely it would have been there and she knew Meässé as Rávi.</p><p>The quote:</p><p>Meássë A late hasty entry in QL adds Meássë ‘sister of Makar, Amazon with bloody arms’ to the root MEHE ‘ooze?’ whence mear ‘gore’. In GL she is Mechos and Mechothli (mechor ‘gore’), and is also called Magrintha ‘the red-handed’ (magru=macha ‘slaughter, battle’, magrusaig ‘bloodthirsty’). In the Valar name-list she is called Rávë or Ravenni; in QL the root RAVA has many derivatives, as rauta- ‘to hunt’, raust ‘hunting, preying’, Raustar a name of Oromë, rau (plural rávi) ‘lion’, ravennë ‘she-lion’, Rávi a name of Meássë. Very similar forms are given in GL: rau ‘lion’, rausta ‘to hunt’, raust ‘hunt’.3</p><p>The History of Middle-earth: The Book of Lost Tales 1. "Appendix: Names in the Lost Tales."</p><p>All references to marriage, death, rebirth and to re-marry: see Laws and customs of the Eldar in Morgoth's Ring.</p><p>In order to have Meássë to survive in modern times as a deity alike in Neil Gaiman's American Gods, I researched all forms of warrior goddesses. To me the earliest form of a warrior goddess would be Ishtar. Thank goodness for the Britannica entry <a href="https://www.britannica.com/topic/Ishtar-Mesopotamian-goddess">here</a>. But I had her re-appear and havoc revenge as other warrior godesses as well, not the complete list mid you. Last but not the least, the song <a href="%E2%80%9D">re-write the stars</a> was suggested to me by my daughter and as we listened to it, more ideas started to bubble to portray them as star-crossed lovers.</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>